


Scream My Name

by DestielHardcoreLove, Swlfangirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M, Mutual Masturbation, Voyeurism, they're idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-11-18 07:43:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18116378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestielHardcoreLove/pseuds/DestielHardcoreLove, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swlfangirl/pseuds/Swlfangirl
Summary: All Benny wanted was some God Damn sleep but his beautiful neighbor Amara's roommate was just too loud at night.  Wait...when did the roommate move out?!





	Scream My Name

Amara smiled a small, faint grin on her lips as she climbed the stairs to her apartment. It was the tail end of a long shift but she was happy to be home, to the place she’d carved out for herself. She struggled to get her keys out with the groceries in her arms but as always her knight in shining armor showed up at the exact right moment. 

 

“How is it you always know when I need you?” Amara asked fondly, feeling his warm chuckle near her ear as he leaned in to grab the heavy reusable bags from her arms. 

 

“Just my spidey sense tingling,” Benny grinned lifting the bag up easily as Amara unlocked her apartment.  He followed her inside and set her groceries on the counter.

 

“Thanks, Ben, you wanna stay for dinner? I’m gonna make...well something with all this,” she said chuckling, as she started to put some of the perishables into the fridge. “Maybe...turkey burgers and steak fries?” 

 

“Sounds good cher, let me go turn off my tv real quick,” he said with a warm smile and a wink thrown her way.  

 

Amara sighed longingly a little as Benny left her place, she knew it was silly but she had been infatuated with the man since she’d first laid eyes on him. Originally she considered trying to seduce him or even ask him out for dinner, but soon it became abundantly clear that all the playful flirting was just that, playful. Benny didn’t seem to show any real interest or intention toward her, he’d even made a comment about how she reminded him of a little sister or something once. 

 

Still...he was oh so pretty to look at.

 

He hurried over to his own apartment right next door and made sure everything was shut down before getting back to Amara’s.  He didn’t bother knocking but did make sure the door was shut and locked before getting back in the kitchen.

 

“Anything you need help with?” he asked.

 

“No thanks, just sit there and look pretty,” she said, shaking her head at him a little. 

 

The food was prepared fairly quickly, probably because the fries were frozen and the meat partially cooked already. Still, it was a good meal and she balanced the spices quite well she thought, though it was nothing compared to Benny’s meat patties. Though those were a luxury she only allowed herself on special occasions when she could truly indulge. 

 

He made noises about getting back to his place but Amara playfully pouted up at him, “Don’t you wanna see what happens next?” she asked, gesturing toward the half-finished movie. 

 

“I’d love to cher but I gotta get some work done.  Rain check?” Benny said standing up and stretching his arms over his head.  He doubted he’d get any work done, he was so full he’d probably just fall asleep in his damn computer chair.

 

“Sure, anytime,” Amara said, and she meant it full heartedly. It had only been a few days since her bitch of a roommate moved out but she wanted Benny to know he was welcome there once more, as often as possible really. Still, it was probably best if she kept her insane crush well hidden. 

 

Benny squeezed at her hand and at the last moment, he kissed her on the cheek.  It was something he’d never done before and he left her apartment in a rush, nearly tripping over himself.  From the very first day he laid eyes on that little minx he’d been harboring some pretty serious feelings for her.  He was just too much of a chicken shit to do anything besides pine after her like some school girl.

 

He gave an awkward wave at the door and quickly slipped into the hallway, cursing at himself for being an idiot.

 

Amara straightened up a bit, then finished moving what little was left in her old room, into the new one. She’d had her friend Cain come over the day Tammy moved out and he did most of the heavy lifting, his reward was a friendly hug and a plate of her  _ herbal _ brownies. She told him she’d be forever grateful, but he’d never ask anything of her in return. 

 

She looked around her new bedroom and smiled, there was a lot of empty space still, but it gave her room to grow and she was excited about all the possibilities she had to fill it. 

 

The silent alarm on her phone started buzzing and she grimaced that it was time to go to bed, but if she didn’t want to be late for work in the morning, she needed to get some sleep. 

 

The bed was soft and comfortable, just as it had been in her room but Amara twisted and turned between her sheets for nearly half an hour completely unable to get any rest. She realized quickly that the thrill of having Benny so close to her on the couch, the warmth of his body against her, it had all become too much for her body to ignore and she needed a release. 

 

Amara dipped her fingers under the waistband of her cotton panties and rubbed herself slowly at first, her mind immediately drifting back to the small sliver of skin she saw when Benny’s muscular arms lifted over his head just before he left. It wasn’t much, not really, but her imagination had been running wild over the last year and she had more than enough ammunition to replicate the experience of his rough, calloused hands against her skin and the new feeling of his soft lips pressed on her cheek.

 

“Mmmm, yes,” she moaned, her body fully responding to the thoughts of him and the images of him in her mind. “Oh god yes,” she said again, this time louder, unable to hold back as her mind put together a story of those soft lips of his being pressed somewhere much more delicate and intimate than her cheek. 

 

Benny scrubbed a hand over his face.  Work would have to wait, he needed to sleep.  He fell face first onto his bed but stiffened when there was a not so subtle moan coming from the other side of his wall.  He knew from being in Amara’s apartment several times that her bitch roommate Tammy’s bedroom shared a wall with his. He was really hoping to have heard it wrong but oh God there it was again.  He grimaced and shoved a pillow over his head. Dammit, why couldn’t Amara have been on the other side instead? At least he could have silently (if not creepily) joined her.

 

A few stuttered out moans spilled from her lips as she delved deeper into her slit to play at the rim of her wet hole, even the thought of Benny was enough to have her gasping and bucking against her own hand with force,  _ quickly _ . Never had a fantasy gotten her so excited than the ones she’d created with him in mind. 

 

“Yes, yes, right there, don’t stop, please almost there-” she grunted, her orgasm nearing its peak as she pushed into herself with a bit of force thinking of how thick the man was everywhere else and how perfectly he would stretch her if he lived up to half of what she’d imagined. 

 

Benny pushed up on his elbows and glared at the wall before shaking his head and snatching up his blanket to drag into the family room.  There was no way he was going to listen to that any longer than he had too. He collapsed onto the couch and covered his entire body, praying he wouldn’t be able to hear any more.

 

The release came with a rush of energy, the image of Benny’s smiling face buried between her legs still warm in her mind as the climax spilled out of her and onto her soaked panties. She slipped them over her hips and reached for a wet wipe from the drawer of her bedside table and used it to quickly clean herself. Amara let out a small giggle and shook her head at herself before wrapping the comforter around her and closing her tired eyes. 

 

Sleep came easily after that.

* * *

 

One week.  Seven days.  One hundred and fucking sixty-eight fucking hours….well, not total but Jesus Christ there was one day where it happened at least three times.  Benny wanted to spoon out his eyes and shove them into his ears. He was so damn tired of not only hearing those moans through his wall but his couch sucked!  It was not meant to sleep on numerous days in a row!

 

Benny whined, rubbing at his face.  It was nearing bedtime and he knew, just fucking knew those noises were going to start any minute now.  

 

“No...not tonight.  I have tomorrow off and I want to sleep!” Benny growled and practically threw himself out of his apartment to pound on Amara’s door.  He was hoping Tammy would be the one to open it but no, it was his brown-eyed beauty who did instead.

 

“Where is she?” Benny grumbled.

 

“Umm...who exactly?” Amara said, immediately concerned because Benny looked...never awful but certainly not as good as he usually did. His eyes were red rimmed and bloodshot, his cheeks a bit pale and he looked, well there wasn’t any other way to say it, he looked  _ pissed off _ and exhausted. 

 

“Your loud ass bitch for a roommate, who else Mari?” Benny asked with a heavy sigh.

 

“Oh, Tammy? She moved out like a week and a half ago...Wait, what do you mean loud?” She asked, tilting her head to the side in confusion. 

 

“Oh no, is my TV keeping you up?” Amara asked, instantly apologetic. She knew Benny worked early mornings. Shit, she should have turned it off hours ago, it wasn’t like she was watching anything important. 

 

“No, it’s not your Tv...so wait...Tammy moved out?” Benny asked, his eyes going wide and mouth slowly dropping open.  Oh Shit...Oh  _ Shit! _

 

All seven days had been Amara, all those noises had come from the very fantasy that plagued his life for the past year or so.  And damn did she sound so much better than what his brain cooked up. 

 

“Fuck…” Benny groaned just staring at Amara like he was seeing her for the first time.

 

“I don’t understand...if it’s not the TV keeping you awake then what is it?” Amara asked, her face scrunching in confusion. She didn’t make much noise in the apartment, didn’t play loud music, didn’t really do much of anything other than cook, read, and watch tv. 

 

Benny swallowed hard and finally pulled himself together enough to rub the back of his neck and laugh nervously, “Uh...Mari.  There’s-there’s somethin else you been doin at night, right around bedtime,” he said biting his bottom lip.

 

Amara stared at him, still confused...though she was probably a little distracted by the delightful flush of red to Benny’s cheeks. “Uhh...okay, I guess I’ll umm, I’ll try to be quiet?” she answered, though she still had no clue what he was talking about. 

 

Benny chuckled and shook his head, “That’d be great cher, thanks,” he grinned and leaned in, pressing his lips to her cheek.  One hand squeezing her hip before backing away. She was freaking adorable when confused but soon she’d know just what he was talking about.  

 

Amara tried not to swoon a bit at the small touch but she found it nearly impossible. Any time Benny put his hands on her it was the same. It was nearly bedtime but she decided she’d give him a little while to maybe get to sleep, just to be sure she wasn’t doing something weird like snoring or tossing and turning in bed to keep him awake. 

 

She ran a warm bath for herself and soaked for a while and once she finally figured he’d had enough time to drift off without any sound from her, Amara slipped into bed. 

 

As soon as she was snuggled and warm between the sheets, her eyes snapped open and she gasped. 

 

_ Shit shit shit shit.  _

 

She realized exactly what Benny had been referring to her and felt her whole body flush with embarrassment. She’d been getting herself off to him so loudly that she’d disturbed his sleep pattern. How much of a weirdo could she possibly be? She pulled a pillow over her head and groaned into it. 

 

_ Stupid stupid stupid. _

 

Benny heard a noise from the other side and snickered.  Now that he knew it was Amara, two could play at this game.  He slicked his hand up and gripped himself tightly in his fist, moaning softly as his head tilted back against his pillows.  The noises that Amara had been making were playing over in his head along with his mental images of what she could possibly look like as she pleased herself.  He groaned loudly, his fingers squeezing and twisting at the head of his cock.

 

Amara heard it and her body went stock still. Her heart leaped in her chest and she felt tingly all over but she was half terrified it wasn’t meant for her. What if it was just some sort of... _ payback? _ Though that didn’t really sound like Benny, Amara was having a harder time with the idea that it was somehow intentional. 

 

She couldn’t quite bring herself to enjoy it, her cheeks flustered and warm. 

 

She should leave...right? That was the polite thing…

 

Benny quickly got lost in it, the feel of his hand dragging over his pulsing cock, the sounds in his ears from previous nights before and he groaned long and loud, not even realizing that he moaned out Amara’s nickname at the tail end of it, “Ooooh fuck Mari.”

 

Amara had almost reached her door when she heard it and her knees went a little weak. Benny wasn’t a cruel man, this couldn’t be a simple joke or tease or any kind of retribution...he was actually, he-  _ he wanted her? _

 

Her throat went tight and she swallowed hard, moving slowly back toward the bed and sliding herself between the cool sheets, trying very hard to keep her heart from beating out of her chest. It was probably the most intimate, most sexual thing she’d ever experienced and he hadn’t even kissed her or touched her yet. 

 

She could hear the light slapping noise of his strokes and her body went into overdrive, clenching around nothing and begging to be filled as she listened to the sounds of his pleasure. Unable to hold back further, Amara reached down and ground her hips against the palm of her hand moaning at even the smallest pressure she’d allowed herself. 

 

Benny was brought back to reality almost roughly when a noise that didn’t match his memories rang out through the wall.  He froze for a split second and then nearly came right on the spot. Amara could hear him...and was now joining him. 

 

“Fuuuuck,” Benny groaned, squeezing around his cock, “Feel so good baby,” Benny moaned out stroking himself again but this time slower.  There was a high pitch mewl and Benny chuckled, “So hot and wet for me, aren’t you Mari?” Benny growled, biting down hard on his lip.

 

‘Yes, yes Ben-” she stuttered, she’d answered him without even really thinking about it but her body was responding quickly and he’d never been more right about anything. She rubbed at her clit quickly, knowing it would be the quickest way to bring about her own release, needing him to be on board with joining her. “I-fuck, I want it...want more, please, want to hear you cum for me.” 

 

“So close baby, so close,” Benny grunted, hips pushing into his fist, “Bet you taste all kinds of delicious, wanna bury my face between those thighs and make you scream,” Benny groaned, his back bowing up a bit, “Fuck I’m there, I’m there baby,” he called out as he spilled over his fingers.

 

Amara’s muscles locked up as her orgasm reached his peak, Benny’s name a repetitive prayer between guttural moans as her release flowed through her with crackling energy she’d never experienced before. Just knowing he was there, he was beside her, thinking of her too was enough to draw out one of the most intense orgasms she’d ever felt. 

 

Benny laid there panting for a minute or two.  He expected to feel shame or some kind of embarrassment but nothing like that came.  Laughing softly he wiped off with a towel he’d placed on the bed earlier and sat up, tapping on the wall lightly, “Can I come over sweetheart?” he asked.

 

She chewed at her lip momentarily debating to pretend to be asleep but it was  _ Benny _ and he was, well different. “You uh-,” she started to question, but then quickly cut herself off. “Yeah, yeah okay, I’ll come unlock the door.” 

 

If she’d given it more thought, Amara would have probably tried to find some pants or something but Benny was waiting and she couldn’t think of anything other than that. 

 

Benny quickly pulled on some briefs and made sure to check the hall before rushing over to her door.  It opened the second after he knocked and he slipped inside. He was thrown for a moment when he realized she was in nothing but a thin nighty, not much left to the imagination but Benny thought she looked gorgeous.  There was a flush on her cheeks that had him grinning as he slowly backed her up against one of the walls, “All this time...it was you I was hearin,” he growled out.

 

“I-uh, I’m sorry I didn’t...I didn’t know you could hear-, I didn’t mean to keep you awake, I-” Amara said, feeling guilty all over again despite the warmth of him against her and how satisfied and warm she felt from both the orgasm and Benny’s presence. 

 

“Oh, don’t be sorry.  I thought it was Tammy, I can’t tell you how fucking relieved I am to know it was you,” he laughed softly, gripping at her hips with his hands, “I wanna kiss yo, sweetheart, will you let me?” Benny asked.

 

“I-I don’t understand, all this time and you’ve never said  _ anything _ …” Amara said, her doubts and insecurities rearing their ugly heads. She was half terrified to let this go further, to let him in, she knew even one taste of him, feel of him against her and she’d be forever changed by it. “Y-you told me I was like your  _ sister!” _ she said, in a desperate plea to make sense of it all. 

 

“I should have never fucking said that you.  I regretted it the second it came out. Amara, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met, I’ve always thought I was way out of your league and that you would never feel the same about me,” he explained.

 

“I-” she stopped, realizing for the first time in a while she was actually speechless. 

 

She looked into those gorgeous bright, blue eyes and her heart clenched in her chest and she felt a peaceful calm rush through her. She raised herself up on her tipped toes and kissed gently at his cheek, twining their fingers together. “Come to bed, we’ll talk about this in the morning.” 

 

Benny smiled softly and followed closely behind her as she lead the way to her bedroom.  Sure enough it was the bigger one that shared the same wall as his own. He chuckled softly and wiped a hand down his face.  When Amara glanced back at him he shook his head and crawled into the bed, lifting the covers for her to climb in as well. He wrapped an arm around her middle tightly and nuzzled into the back of her neck.

 

“Goodnight Benny,” she hummed, settling herself further into the covers and letting the smell, the warmth of him full wrap around her. She felt more safe, more  _ protected _ than ever in her life but that didn’t stop her tired eyes from fluttering shut. If anything, it just made it easier. 

 

* * *

  
  


Amara woke up with a weight against her for the first time in what seemed like forever and immediately she winced, until she remembered exactly  _ who _ that arm belonged to. Then the smile that stretched so wide her face hurt, quickly returned to her lips. She didn’t know how long it had been or what time it was but she’d never been one to sleep in, so she delicately tried to remove herself from his tight, and adorable grip. 

 

It took some wiggling and a little body pillow replacement but she was eventually able to sneak out of bed without waking him. A man like Benny deserved all the sleep he could get, certainly after she’d been apparently keeping him up all week. 

 

She quietly made her way to the kitchen and brewed up a pot of coffee, savoring the aroma of the dark roast for a few minutes before contemplating breakfast foods to go with it. She didn’t have a ton of stuff in her fridge but she managed to find some eggs, milk, and the pantry stayed pretty stocked so she had flour and sugar on hand.

 

‘Pancakes it is,’ she whispered to herself, smiling as she started to mix it all together. 

 

Benny groaned low in his throat as he rolled over onto his back.  His eyelids felt as if they weighed a ton but something had woken him up.  After blinking several times to get his vision to focus he frowned at the unfamiliar room.  It took much longer than he’d like to admit to finally remember the events of last night. He snorted out a laugh and rubbed at his face as he sat up slowly.  The spot next to him was empty and cooling, meaning Amara had woken up much earlier than him. Now that he could focus on the noises around him he could hear her moving around in the kitchen.  He got up from the bed and hit her bathroom first, pouring some mouthwash into his mouth to get the staleness off his tongue. 

 

He made his way out of the bedroom and into the kitchen.  She was bustling around the room, mixing and flipping pancakes on the griddle that had his stomach grumbled loudly.  He was content watching her for a few more minutes until he saw a moment where he could sneak up and not have her accidentally burn herself.

 

“Mmm, mornin cher,” he whispered, nuzzling into her neck as his arms wrapped around her tightly.

 

“Good mornin, there’s coffee in the pot and a stacked plate ready and waiting for you if you’re hungry,” she started, trying not to let herself get too wrapped up in it all. Benny was practically gift wrapping himself and offering her...well  _ something _ , but it was all too hard to believe that it could be so easy. She just needed a few deep breaths, to keep herself calm, and they’d figure out what was going to happen next  _ after _ food. 

 

Benny nodded and unwrapped himself from her.  He made up a mug for himself and snatched up the plate of still warm pancakes.  He smothered them with butter and the syrup she had in one of those fancy porcelain dishes and grinned.  

 

“This smells amazing,” he said and brought it to the table to start shoveling the food into his mouth.

 

“Thank you, I’ll admit that I might be,  _ just a little bit, _ ” she paused scrunching her forefinger and thumb together, “trying to impress you.” 

 

Amara grinned as he dug into his food and she finished up a few for herself. There was still some batter left in the bowl so she raked it into a ziplock bag and popped it into the fridge. She hesitated and looked around a bit,“There’s some berries in here somewhere I think, if you want them,” she said with a laugh, while pouring a bit of creamer into her mostly empty mug so she could get a refill. 

 

“Nah cher, this is good,” Benny said with a wide grin, his cheeks full of food.  It got the desired effect and he laughed softly with her, “You ain’t gotta try to impress me Mari.  I mean, if you wanna keep making me food that’d be awesome but not to impress me,” Benny teased.

 

“It’s- I don’t know what it is really, but I feel like everything has changed now and I’m-” Amara didn’t really know what to say, how to express the tumultuous swirls of nerves and adrenaline and a million other things mixing in her belly. “Let’s eat, then we can talk,” she said instead, hoping that maybe the few minutes with food as a distraction would ease some of the anxiousness she felt. 

 

Benny frowned a little but kept quiet.  It was clear Amara needed a moment and Benny would gladly give that to her.  There was a small bit of tension between them but other than that, their breakfast was peaceful.  Once he was done, Benny got up and gathered up the dishes. All but their coffee mugs and brought them over to the sink to rinse off.  He left them in the sink for now and brought over the nearly drained coffee pot to top off both of their mugs before sitting back down at the table.

 

“What’s got you so worried sweetheart?” Benny asked softly.

 

“I mean don’t you think all this is…” she paused, chewing at her lip. “It’s a little  _ easy _ .” 

 

She looked up at him and those big blue eyes never failed to draw her in. “I just feel like I’ve wanted you for so long and it’s not easy for me to trust but I believe you when you say you want me too. It’s just, you’re one of my best friends Benny, I don't want to lose that in whatever  _ this _ is.” 

 

Benny hummed softly and put his mug down, clearing his throat a little, “I don’t want that either cher.  So, I’ll lay everything here out on the table. I’ve had feelins for you from the moment we met. I was just too much of a chicken shit to do anything about it.  I’ve never been a one night stand kinda guy, so whatever this is...I want it to be more than just sex Mari. I wanna be with you, just you,” Benny said and took in a deep breath to release it slowly.

 

“I just...I worry that if we change too much or maybe even if we don’t change enough, that it’s going to affect what we already have,” she said, and saw the slight look of hurt and confusion on his face. “Hear me out, we’re... _ comfortable _ right now, well okay maybe not  _ right now _ , but we were before last night. We were comfortable and you felt like...well like my best friend, like a good cup of coffee in the morning, like my favorite pajamas or a long bath. All of those wonderful amazing things, but not brimming with passion.” 

 

“Wait wait wait, let me finish” she said, feeling his disappointment, “Then last night happened and...uh, even y’know, apart..it felt like...adrenaline, like I don’t know, maybe what skydiving or bungee jumping feels like, at least that’s what I felt. It was new and exciting and there was just  _ more _ there than I’ve felt with anyone in a long time, Benny.” 

 

“We don’t have to rush this cher.  We can take as much time as you need to do anything more physical but I gotta know if this is something you want.  Cause if not, we can just go back to bein friends,” Benny said, the words stale on his tongue. He downed the rest of his coffee hoping to help the sudden ache in his throat but it only seemed to make it worse.

 

Amara stepped forward, stopping when her legs brushed against his knees. They weren’t as close as they’d been last night when she was pressed between him and the wall but close enough that she could see the sadness in those big blue eyes. “Make no mistake, Benny...I want you, maybe too much if that’s possible, but there’s no doubt in my mind that you are a wonderful man and I’d consider myself very lucky to have you in my life, in my bed, and in my heart.” 

 

Benny stared up into her face and finally smiled.  Slowly he stood up and reached out to cup the sides of her neck, “May I kiss you cher?’ he asked, dragging his thumbs along he jawline.

 

Amara swallowed, her heart racing faster in her chest. She wanted it more than anything, but what if it changed everything…

 

Still, she didn’t want to deny him again, more than that she didn’t want to deny herself. “Yes.” 

 

Benny couldn’t help memorizing her face for a few more moments before leaning in to capture her lips with his own.  It was so soft and sweet but the electricity shot through his veins, lighting him up from the inside. He closed the distance between them, pressing their lips a bit firmer together and sighed when she finally pressed back.

 

It was too tempting, she wanted to just curl into him, to open up to him and let him inside in a way she couldn’t even describe. It wasn’t just about the sex, though there was more than enough heat there as well, Amara just felt like she could give him every piece of her and somehow it would only get better. 

 

Needless to say, that was a terrifying but wonderful thought.

 

She pulled away, his soft lips still warmly pressed against her own before she officially stepped back and gave herself the space to see him clearly again. She cleared her throat, smiling, “That was uh...that was nice, better than nice really but um, maybe that should be enough for now.” 

 

Benny smiled a little and nodded, “Whatever you need cher,” he said, giving her shoulders a light squeeze before taking a step back, “I should uh, probably get back to my place.  I’ll talk to you later,” he said and headed for the door.

 

“Yeah, yeah that’s good. I’ll be around, off today so...just whenever,” Amara said, though she felt a clench in her chest when he turned to leave. How everything inside of her got so messed up, she didn’t know but Benny always had a way of bringing more out of her than anyone else. 

 

Benny turned to give her as much of a smile as he could and slipped out of the apartment.  Sighing heavily he trudged over to his own and let himself in. There was a weird, creeping feeling going up his spine and he tried to shake it off but it just kept growing.  Shaking his head he went into his room to take a long shower.

  
  


* * *

 

Benny groaned as he parked his bike in his usual spot.  It’d been almost a week now since that night he realized it was Amara on the other side of the wall.  A week since they shared their first kiss and a week since they last spoke. He wasn’t sure who was avoiding who at this point but it was clear that the whole worry of things changing between them did in fact, happen.  He hated it, his stomach churning every time he thought about it. Guilt tore through him everytime he saw her car or heard her moving around in the apartment. He felt partly responsible for the whole thing, if he would have just talked to Amara instead of fucking masterbating maybe they’d still be talking at least.

 

Mumbling out a curse he climbed off the bike and got up to his apartment, throwing his helmet and jacket on the couch before getting into his kitchen to grab the bottle of whiskey he had hiding in his top cabinet.  May as well drink his feelings.

 

“Fuck,” he cursed again and took a huge swig.

 

Amara paced as quietly as possible in her living room. The sound of Benny’s bike was practically a damn mating call to her ears, she’d heard it leave and return, leave and return, over and over again and not once had he knocked on her door or even called out for her. 

 

She couldn’t take it anymore, not the worrying or constant on edge anticipation that maybe, just maybe, today will be different and he’d show up with that warm sweet smile and that voice that turned her legs to jelly. Instead, she let herself out of the apartment and walked herself to  _ his _ door. Someone had to do something or it was all over and that seemed a fate worse than any fears she might have had. 

 

“Benny, Ben...open up please,” she said, knocking gently against his door.

 

Benny nearly spit out the whiskey he had just poured into his mouth.  He was slightly buzzed but he recognized the voice immediately. He stood there frozen for a minute until forcing himself forward to wrench open his door, “Mari,” he said in a whisper.

 

“Can I come in?” she asked, so distracted by her own anxieties and thoughts that it took more than a few beats for her to realize he wasn’t even fully dressed. 

 

“Uh yeah, sure yeah, c’mon in,” he stammered moving out of the way, “You want a drink or somethin?” he asked, suddenly remembering the stupid whiskey bottle in his hand.  He flushed a bit and hurried to the kitchen to put it on the counter.

 

“No, I want you to take me to dinner...tomorrow night if you’re free,” she said, biting down on her lip as the nerves became more than flutters, nearly overwhelming her. 

 

Benny’s eyes widened and he was nodding eagerly, “Yes, I-I’d love to take you out cher.  Shit, sorry I’m little…” Benny closed his eyes and tried to shake the numbing buzz around his limbs and brain.  He felt sluggish and now was regretting that damn bottle.

 

“Wherever you wanna go,” he said licking his dry lips and opening his eyes.

 

“It’s been a hard week for us both, and it doesn’t matter where Benny, only that you’re the one taking me, okay?” she said, leaning in against him and wrapping her arms around his waist. She stayed there a little longer than was probably appropriate but even with the booze on his breath and the stale scent of sweat, he was still safe, still  _ home _ .

 

Benny hesitated for only a split second before he was hugging Amara tightly, his lips pressing against her hair.  He felt stupidly emotional (thanks to the whiskey of course) and swallowed around the lump in his throat. Fuck he had missed Amara the past week and couldn’t help curling around her, moving his face so it was pressed in against her neck.

 

“Missed you,” he mumbled.

 

“Missed you too, Ben.” Amara squeezed around his waist a bit tighter before finally pulling away. “I know this is messy and we’ve made it weird now but I’m not going to let that stop me. As long as you want me Benny, I’m yours.” 

 

Benny let out a shaky breath and nodded, “I do, m’sorry I’m a coward Mari,” he said, keeping his eyes down while his fingers lifted to play with the ends of her hair, “What time do you want to go out tomorrow?” he asked.

 

She threaded her fingers through his and shook her head, “Not a coward, its... _ a lot _ , this thing between us. It feels like it could be  _ everything _ one minute and fall apart the next. Even the thought of losing you feels like misery, it’s not easy to look that possibility in the face and move toward it.” 

 

Her breath stuttered in her chest a bit when he squeezed around her hand but she smiled. “We just have to keep choosing one another instead of what’s safe. I think you’re worth it Benny Lafitte. I think a future with you is everything I could want. And yes, I know, you’re not perfect and we’re gonna screw up, fight, make it weird, a lot of other things I’m sure, but you’re worth it.” 

 

Benny cupped the side of Amara’s face with his free hand and felt a true, genuine smile stretch his lips, “You’re worth it too Mari,” he said and leaned in to press their foreheads together with a soft sigh.

* * *

 


End file.
